nice blog, by the way. glad i stumbled upon it.

My current sitch is making me consider van dwelling. Although it’d technically car car dwelling. It’s won’t be easy to live in a Mustang. It’s so cramped. Thought about trading it in, but that’s when I realized that I’m thinking trading in a new car just to solve 3 month long bunking situation.

I agree with Lo about being positive when you tell people about what you are doing. I’ve had a friend respond by saying that I am having way too much fun with this. When I tell people what i’m doing, I tell them that i’m basically camping for a year, however, they just dont get it. I dont argue with them or try to persuade them to understand, but if they ask questions, i’m happy to answer them.

On another note, I received good news today that my student loan went through. I’ve been looking for places to share/live on Craigslist and it is roughly coming to around 500 incl. utilities. It seems that now that i’ve gotten a taste of this lifestyle, I feel that I can do this and I would hate to be a quitter. The real fear was just stepping out of my comfort zone. After that, everything seems to be working but with a little more effort on certain things. I’m pretty sure i’m going to stay with this as long as I can. I dont think I could go back to paying for rent, when I know that this option is available.

Sorry Jessica for using this as my journal entry. Once I start writing, I just keep going. Hey Lo, what ethnicity is your bf and yourself and what part of cali do you live?

You’re right when you point out that people who WANT to be snubbed will find ways to SEE themselves snubbed. I dress, smell and look normal. I think the closest I’ve come to being condescended to is when I get a look of uncertainty while I’m cooking with my doors open. Sometimes passers-by will give me a quick look of surprise. It’s not positive or negative – people just don’t see van-cooking every day.

I contend that nobody is getting snubbed unless they’re doing more than just living in a vehicle. You can get the stink eye for getting caught ‘showering’ in the sink at a Denny’s, and some people give the stink eye to anyone with tattoos and piercings. Vandwelling, in and of itself, doesn’t garner much attention. If someone is a snobby asshole, they’ll never find out where I live, ’cause I just won’t bring it up. If a snobby asshole happens to discover me, I doubt they’ll say one word. I’ll give a big smile and move right along with plan A: living life.

I agree with your viewpoints here, and think you worded your thoughts very well. It’s exactly how you said it.

What I would say is that, at least within the circle of people I know here in DC, finding out that someone lives in a car/van can definitely elicit more than just pity. What’s super weird is that I have a feeling that there may be more ill will towards a vandweller that does NOT NEED to live in a vehicle but is doing it for other reasons. It challenges certain people’s sense of self in a way that feeling pity for someone who is down on their luck does not. Even if it is not verbalized, there are definitely people who will automatically harbor negative feelings towards a vandweller. On the othere hand, if you don’t really experience it that often, why should the vandweller really care?

I think you’re right. If you engage in fringe behaviors, society/media will call you a freak, but not necessarily individual people. But once you become convinced of your own oddness, and feel shunned by society, you will look for examples to back up your beliefs. This is a fundamental human trait that applies to almost anything, not just being weird. We give undue weight to evidence that supports our own prejudice.

Even though I live in post-racial America (ha!) in ultra-tolerant California, it’s still very unusual in my area to see interracial couples. At first, living here and dating my boyfriend, I really noticed when we got looks. Then I started looking for them, and my opinion that we were judged and different was verified anytime anyone looked at us. But hell, people might have looked at us because we wear funny t-shirts, they think I’m hot, who knows? There’s no question that we are treated differently as a couple than I am alone, but even that has decreased dramatically over the last year.

Or has it? I really doubt that society has changed drastically over a few months. The real reason it happens less is that I’m not looking for it anymore, so I don’t see it. Maybe it’s still happening and I’m oblivious, but the most likely explanation is that it was mainly all in my head.

I spent my entire childhood, adolescence, and part of adulthood believing that I was so “weird,” and out of the mainstream. When I got sober, I dropped that completely and constantly emphasized in my mind the ways that I’m the same as everyone else. Only then, when I stopped believing I was unusual, did I actually become unusual.

But so what? Nearly everyone has something weird about them. If you live in a van, your quirk is more visible than most, but do you honestly believe that any of these “normal” people don’t have some twisted, fucked-up part of themselves? Of course they do!

The reality is that most people keep their uniqueness hidden. It’s a shame, because if everything were laid bare to the world, most would find their secrets are not so strange at all. Those who are most ruled by fear become judgmental of other’s oddity to protect what they consider to be something evil or wrong in themselves. It also means that they’re isolated in their fear, likely believing that no one but them finds ear wax to be sexy, or like to drink pickle juice out of the bottle, or cheat on their wife with older men, or whatever.

So when someone judges me, I’m most likely to feel compassion. I don’t tolerate it, simply walking away from the most abusive. If they’re only mildly rude, I don’t defend myself but rather describe all the advantages for me personally (this makes it much less threatening!) and if they’re still hating (they never are), drop it. I don’t tell anyone why they should walk instead of driving, I merely describe how I got rid of my car as an experiment and found my life drastically changed for the better. As Jessica does, just talk about how much you love your lifestyle, and emphasize “it’s great FOR ME.”

I have unknowingly convinced people to try carlessness this way on a couple occasions (that I know about, maybe there have been many more!) using this method. The cashier at quiznos tells me: “Hey, I started walking to work! You made it sound so great I decided to try it and wow you were right.”

Finally, remember that people will react much more to your tone and courtesy than the fact that you live in a van. If someone is giving you a hard time, their problem is likely with you more than the van.

And hey, you never know. Maybe that uptight soccer mom had a rough time 10 years ago and was forced to live out of her car and turn to prostitution. You’ll never convince her that vandwelling is romantic or awesome, but who cares if you convince her? You like it, she didn’t. So what?